Lifelong FOMO, or Was it?

I envy people who are clear about what they want to be at a very young age and go after it.

As a child, the question most asked of me by relatives, older adults, and virtual strangers was, "What do you want to be when you grow up?" 

 I came across a lot of future thinkers, I suppose. Not too many questions about the present. I do not have many memories of being asked how my day at school was or even the previous summer's activities.

 It was all about my contribution to society in the future. 

As far back as five years old and up through High School, these are the answers I gave to that inquiry:

• Singer

• Actress (said that for 10 years)

• Guitar player (until the 1st time my fingers bleed) 

• Contemporary artist (because I couldn't draw but liked colorful pictures) 

• Drummer (my parents got me a flute instead, which is much quieter) 

• Whatever paid well 

• Poet/songwriter

• Author

• Anything in another town or state

• Fashion model

• Astronaut (wanted to see the world from afar and stars up close, but not interested in the knowledge required to get there) 

• I don't know yet (my most common response: I didn't want to be obligated to do something that may not look as attractive a few years down the road) 

As time went on, I had several different means of income. Each time I started a new job, for the most part, I loved what I did and figured I would be there, doing that work, forever. 

Of course, life and other opportunities thought otherwise.

Some of my various occupations included:

• Cashier for parts department at a car dealership

• Cashier/merchandiser in an ice cream/gift/card shop

• Bookkeeper at a bank promoted to manager of the department

• Assistant branch manager

• Merchandising and proposals for an Interior Decorating Company/Gift Shop

• Rental Cars at the Airport (company went out of business, don't remember the name)

• Pac Tel Paging-Office Manager

• Comcast Cable-sales to management

• Senior Friendship Centers, PR dept, lifelong learning and volunteer center

• Owned my own Thrift Store/Boutique benefiting local artists (my favorite!)

• Health insurance assistance/sales (least favorite!) 

• Manager at an Antique Mall

• Real Estate 

• Office Manager for start-up Physical Therapy Location

I guess that isn't too bad for 44 years of working for people besides babysitting or at my Dad's GM dealership. 

During these years, I graduated at the top of my class at travel school (aced all the airport codes in the US), interviewed for a stewardess position at TWA (I would have had to move to New Jersey), took a novel writing course, joined a writing group, learned technology and computer software, took up photography, Photoshop, painted furniture and kept booths at antique malls. There are other extracurricular activities I can remember later, I’m sure.

Other than consistent writing of some sort, a brief period of classes at a community theatre, and perhaps contemporary artist (if you count furniture painting and dappling on canvas), I didn't pursue another one of those other areas of interest that inspired me as a child.

 What if I had pursued that dream to become an actress? Being in movies would have been such a fun thing to do! I could have taken some acting classes, moved to California or New York, started attending auditions, networked, got an agent, etc. Still no guarantees. 

 Looking back, I took positions that seemed exciting and fun, knowing I could achieve the requirements presented; they offered growth to be promoted within the company and a decent paycheck and benefits.

 I suppose it would have been better to have had similar types of positions throughout the years to grow more knowledgeable in one particular area. Still, I am a person who loves variety, change, and learning new skills. 

 I guess you could say that I have become a bit of a "Jack of all trades," which can be beneficial sometimes. However, it can also lead to burnout and lack of focus.

 Refocusing on my lifelong goal of being an author has balanced my need for variety with my need for stability. 

Even though I can still get easily sidetracked by other fun things to do (shiny objects!), like painting, photography, videography, YouTube, writing and book groups, reading, research, shopping, yard sales, crafting, organizing, activities with the granddaughters, Disney, travel, baking, cooking, adding flowers to the landscape, walking, yoga, strength training, volunteering, visiting new places, going to the beach, genealogy, collecting, home improvement and more, writing has become my primary focus. (This does not include time with my husband and family, of course. That's number one!)   

Writing, producing at least one newsletter/article, and moving the needle forward on my book every week is my priority now, my job, purpose, and occupational joy. It is so fulfilling to press the enter key and complete a piece of writing about me that will inspire at least one other person. That is my goal, anyway. At the very least, my granddaughters will know a little more about me as they grow older. 

So, while sometimes I think I'm suffering from FOMO (fear of missing out) because I often feel like a kid in a candy store with so many different activities that I'd like to learn and do, I am actually doing the thing right now that has been my essential pursuit throughout the winding road of my life.

 I am grateful for all of the different work and life experiences I have had. Nearly every encounter has shaped who I am and helped me develop skills I use every day. I have learned to take risks, be flexible, and stay open-minded.

 I am grateful for the lessons I have learned along the way and for my vibrant, chock-full life.

 So no FOMO here. 

Truthfully, I'm about as happy and content as ever. I plan to keep learning and writing consistently and for as long as possible. One word, one day at a time. 

Thank you for reading! *** Keep smiling!